For those who don’t know, I am the author of three novels, and my poems and short stories have been published in a variety of anthologies.
My first novel was published by an indie publisher my senior year of high school when I was 18. It was called Beautiful Nightmare: Some Dreams Become Your reality.
Being published so young, I was very naive. I had written that novel starting when I was 13 because I experienced extreme bullying throughout middle and high school. Writing became my solace, and my characters were my friends. One woman had started an indie publisher specifically for teenage authors, and she ended up guiding me through the development of Beautiful Nightmare. The novel was dystopian with romance elements. Another indie publisher picked it up, but they were not reputable. Unfortunately, I never saw any royalties and was completely inexperienced in the publishing industry to know what to do about it.
I had thought that people would love my novel as much as I did, but that was not the case. It got ripped apart by so many people, which completely crushed my soul at that age.
Focusing on the good reviews at the time was incredibly difficult because I tend to be so hard on myself.
My freshmen year of college, I ended up publishing my second novel, Into the Fog. This was another novel that I had started writing as a teenager. It was a high fantasy set in 16th century England.
I regret how I rushed to publish this novel. I was so desperate to publish something that people would like, especially another novel with characters that meant so much to me. This is not the mindset that should go into writing, and I know that now.
Indie and self-publishing aren’t what they are now. You would literally be laughed at if you self-published your work, and this hurt me deeply.
I didn’t know how to market at the time, and not a lot of people read Into the Fog, I also felt embarrassed because of the stigma that self-publishing held at the time.
So, I moved onto my third novel. Another that I had started writing my junior year of high school and was a huge risk. However, it is my most intimate novel. It incorporates a lot of the bullying and abuse I experienced while in high school. Behind Broken Glass Walls is about a school shooting from the perspective of the mother of the shooter and incorporates some insight into the shooter’s perspective and what she goes through.
I didn’t have the money at the time for a professional editor, but despite the errors and issues the book had, there were quite a few of people who read it and told me how deeply it impacted them. I received a glowing review on OnlineBookClub, which was one of the biggest review websites for indie and self-published authors at the time. While some people were very harsh about the editing issues, most said that they only rated it lower because of the errors and that if the book were edited it would be a five-star read.
This was incredibly validating, and I ended up working with an editor in 2016 following a traumatic event that led me to fall back into my writing for comfort. She helped provide me with such important criticism, and I am going to re-release the book with supplemental materials for bullying, school shooting safety information, and other elements.
Since 2016, I have also had my poems and short stories published in various anthologies.
But it took me a long time to not get defensive when receiving constructive feedback.
Going through what I went through with my writing led me to establish Pride with a Bite, a queer horror publisher that is now focused on celebrating queer horror.
I wanted to provide a positive publishing experience that differed greatly from what I experienced. However, I did notice how many inexperienced authors also had a hard time with constructive feedback.
Which is why I want to emphasize that changing your mindset when receiving criticism from feeling slighted to receiving a gift to grow is vital in this industry. ESPECIALLY if you are self-publishing.
The industry is changing drastically, and with self-publishing being so accessible it can be hard not to get lost in the shuffle. Take the criticism as an opportunity to learn, grow, and increase your skill.
I am a firm believer that being a prolific author doesn’t necessarily mean that you are a good writer. I value authors who spend time with their work, allow it to grow with them, and take constructive criticism as a gift.
All of that being said, I have lived a thousand lifetimes since my novels were published. I had to grow as a person, and a writer, for these books to become what they deserve to be.
All three of them are being re-released, the first of which is a complete overhaul of Beautiful Nightmare.
Apart from some of the characters, the book is completely different from what it was.
It is now titled A Lacework Nightmare
The Giver meets The Village by M. Night Schyamalan in this unique read, incorporating dystopian folk horror with vital asexual, chronic health, and mental illness representation
Coming Fall 2027
For fans of:
– Folk Horror Mixed with Dystopian Elements
– Rural Winter Settings
– Mental Health/Chronic Illness Rep
– Cryptids & Folklore
– Underdogs Fighting Back
I hope that me sharing some of my story will help you writers out there. Especially surrounding criticism, letting your work grow with you, and not rushing publication just to publish.
Writing is so special, and publishing is a beast. Allow yourself to enjoy writing for what it is rather than focusing on the idea of being published. You and your work will be better for it. Self-preservation is so important in this industry.
Keep on keeping on my friends.
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